October 2025
- Linda Favero
- Oct 29
- 5 min read
3 Musings On Your Path to Presence
I begin every leadership engagement by asking leaders to identify their values—not company values, but their actual values that drive who they are professionally and personally. Brené Brown has a great tool to help us get there. Once we truly know our values, we can begin to trust ourselves more and reduce our constant fears. Knowing our values and self allows us to show up with authentic presence. Here are mine!
1. Do you know your values?
Whether you are a recent graduate, making a career transition, returning to the workforce after a long break, or retiring to your next chapter, it is essential to know your values to help authentically guide your ship to your next destination. Otherwise, you will live by default and not by design. This is the first step in finding your purpose.
Suzy Welch, a prominent professor at the NYU Stern School of Business, teaches a popular class in which she outlines a three-part recipe for finding your purpose. Your purpose can be found at the intersection of these three dimensions:
Values. Values are the things you care about and that drive your decisions. According to Welch, only about 7% of people can clearly name their values. She has created an online test, the Values Bridge, to help you discern your own values. You can also use Brene Brown’s tool if that is your preference.
Aptitudes. This is your natural wiring—your skills and talents, and how others perceive you. To determine your aptitudes, Welch suggests paying attention to when work feels natural versus forced, and asking those around you how they perceive you. Aptitudes are what you think you’re good at and how the world perceives you.
Economically Viable Interests. The work you want to do and can get paid for. Her advice is to widen your aperture: don’t just settle for the three or four jobs you already know. Get curious about industries you’ve never considered and imagine what roles might align with your values and aptitudes.
Together, these three layers form a Venn diagram. Your purpose sits in the overlap.
For more on how to find your purpose—and how to keep yourself from drifting into “default mode”—check out the 10% Happier podcast with Suzy Welch.
2. Do you trust yourself?
Due to societal pressures and our internal noise/chatter, it is often difficult to trust ourselves. However, once you know your values, you can develop the skills to trust your intuition more effectively. A recent study found that gut instinct can actually enhance decision-making in ways that analysis alone may overlook.
The eminent Buddhist teacher Trudy Goodman identified five tips to help you develop trust in yourself:
Start with your senses. The most reliable data you have is what you can see, hear, and feel right now. Noticing raw sensations interrupts anxious story-spinning and grounds you in reality.
Try the three-breath reset. Anywhere, anytime: (1) Relax your body. (2) Name what’s here—“tension,” “sadness,” “buzzing mind.” (3) Inhale kindness, exhale a widening out to others. Three breaths, and you’ve reminded yourself: you can handle this moment.
Distinguish intuition from fear. A trustworthy inner “no” or “yes” tends to be clear, specific, and proportionate. Fear is usually characterized as vague, urgent, and constricting. Practice checking your impulses against these filters—and when in doubt, reality-check with a friend.
Respect your own boundaries. Over-giving and people-pleasing corrode self-trust. Resentment is your body’s early-warning system that you’ve gone too far. Start practicing small, polite nos, and remember that self-respect isn’t selfish—it’s the foundation of self-trust.
Get in your joy reps. Self-doubt thrives when your system is flooded with stress. Trudy says deliberately noticing micro-moments of joy—a kind smile, birdsong, even the absence of a toothache—steadies you. “Think of it as an IV drip that makes you less distractible and more able to trust what’s happening.”
With your values aligned and habits in place to trust your intuition, you are on a path to build greater self-trust and calm confidence in your personal and professional life.
3. Do you have “pocket presence”?
Knowing your values and trusting yourself allows you to be the authentic leader you are meant to be. I bristle at the phrase “executive presence” – what does that really mean? Many organizations want their leaders to be coached to have greater “executive presence.” However, many researchers, including Adam Grant and Brené Brown, consider this phrase dated and biased. It is based on a white male image, strong and direct. It limits the talents of others who may be introverted, women, or people of color.
Brené Brown is a sports fan and breaks down the “pocket presence” metaphor in her book, “Strong Ground”, and her podcast, Dare to Lead with Adam Grant. The term is an adaptation from American football, where a quarterback trusts their team to protect them, allowing them to read the field and make informed decisions. It's about a leader staying calm and situationally aware in a complex environment, trusting their team, and listening to all voices, not just the loudest ones.
Adam shares his breakthrough of seeing “pocket presence” as a collective capability, whereas “executive presence” is a “party of one.” Wouldn’t you rather have a leader who is calm, curious, and trusts her team? While watching the University of Oregon play Penn State, I noticed how our quarterback, Dante Moore, consistently remains calm, curious, and flexible under challenging situations, and trusts his team to have his back. I choose to coach leaders on finding their authentic leadership style so they can feel confident as the leader they are meant to be, focusing on substance over style.
Updates & Resources
Calm in the Chaos
In a recent podcast with Dan Harris, I was touched by Pico Iyer’s discussion on the transformational nature of travel. It humbles us and strips us of our egos: away from the comforts of home with our belongings in one suitcase, foreign surroundings, and a language we don’t understand. I treasured this humbling gift on a recent trip to Central Mexico.
MAF Impact Award
I love being co-chair of the Multnomah Athletic Foundation, and I invite you to our annual Impact Award, which is open to the public. We will gather on Tuesday, November 4, from 5:00 to 7:00 p.m. at the Multnomah Athletic Club for a fun, casual cocktail party! Here is a link to register for just $10. If you are looking for ways to give your time and talents, learn about some amazing local nonprofits that serve underrepresented youth through athletics and education, join us.
For One Who Is Exhausted
By John O’Donohue
Take refuge in your senses, open up to all the small miracles you rushed through.
Become inclined to watch the way of rain when it falls slow and free.
Imitate the habit of twilight, taking time to open the well of color that fostered the brightness of day.
Draw alongside the silence of stone until its calmness can claim you. Be excessively gentle with yourself.
Stay clear of those vexed in spirit, learn to linger around someone of ease, who feels they have all the time in the world.
Gradually, you will return to yourself. Having learned a new respect for your heart and the joy that dwells far within slow time.
Strong Ground
If you are looking for a new leadership book and podcast, I am enjoying Brené Brown’s latest book, "Strong Ground," and her 6-part "Dare to Lead" series with Adam Grant.