January 2026

3 Musings on why “Tenderness” is my word of the year.

While a new year can be a time to set goals, resolutions, and intentions, let’s be wise and tender with ourselves and others. We are living in challenging times professionally and personally. That’s why my “word of the year” is tenderness for myself and others.

1. Productivity Trap

Our culture values productivity and busyness. Isn’t this the true measure of success? However, it is exhausting and unsustainable. Anne-Laure Le Cunff conducts research into the neuroscience of learning and curiosity at King's College London. She is the author of Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World.

She critiques our cultural obsession with "finding your purpose", which is part of my business’s tagline (ha!). Le Cunff shares a refreshing approach to personal and professional growth: “Treat life as a series of tiny experiments, not a strict race toward a single, predefined goal.” This also reminds me of my pivot from “find your passion” to discover the intersection of your interests and talents.

6 practical ways to experiment toward a refreshed life:

1. Try Field Notes: For at least one week, jot down your observations about daily habits and decisions—like an anthropologist studying yourself.

2. Start a Tiny Experiment (PACT): Choose one small change (like meditating for 10 minutes a day for a week) and set a clear start and end date for your trial.

3. Observe Your Cognitive Scripts: Next time you make a big decision (job, relationship, hobby), ask yourself: “Am I actually choosing this, or is it just my default script?”

4. Practice Energy Syncing: Notice when your energy is highest and save your most creative or important tasks for those periods.

5. Build Magic Windows: Create short pockets each day for play, creativity, or mindful breaks.

6. Reflect and Iterate: After your experiment, review what worked, what didn’t, and what to tweak next.

The obsession with finding your singular "purpose" can be limiting and stressful - experiment and explore multiple interests. Real change and growth come slowly—meaningful progress is built on honest self-reflection, not rigid plans. Mindful productivity means working in sync with your energy and emotions and being tender to yourself about mistakes and procrastination. Learn more on the 10% Happier podcast with Dan Harris.

2. Overwhelm + Burnout

Many of us are just plain tired. How do we focus our "genius energy" on what matters most? Diana Hill, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, international trainer, podcast host, and a leading expert on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)—a revolutionary approach to psychology that is changing our understanding of mental health.

She is the author of four books, including “I Know I Should Exercise, But…,” “The Self-Compassion Daily Journal,” “ACT Daily Journal,” and her latest, “Wise Effort.” The concept of "Wise Effort" is aligning your energy and actions with your core values. Honestly, we just can’t do it all.

3 tips to cultivate “Wise Effort”:

1. Get curious. Ask: Where is my energy going? Am I working on stuff because I genuinely care—or am I adding stuff to my to-do list out of fear, guilt, or habit? Just noticing is an intervention.

2. Accept it. Allow in the tough stuff—fatigue, anxiety, self-doubt, you name it. Acceptance isn’t resignation. Only once you stop warring with reality can you change.

3. Focus your energy. Your time is a jar—and every commitment is a rock. So, choose your rocks based on your values, not your “shoulds.”

I am someone who can add too many “rocks to my jar,” get overwhelmed, and snippy. Let’s be more like a Buddhist and engage in “Wise Effort,” put our energy where it counts, and tenderly reduce our overwhelm and ultimate burnout. For more on reducing overwhelm, listen to Diana Hill on 10% Happier.

3. Danish Wisdom

I love the Danes, especially right now. My son studied at the Copenhagen Business School, which deepened my curiosity about all things Danish. Many of us are familiar with hygee, a Danish philosophy of cozy living, comfort, togetherness, and well-being. According to Meik Wiking, CEO of the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen, “it is an atmosphere and an experience. It is about being with the people we love. A feeling of home. A feeling that we are safe."

I recently discovered, lykke, while reading “Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper.” It is the quiet joy of simply being content. Happiness in life's small moments: a warm cup of tea, shared laughter, a cozy evening in front of a fire with a good book. Not seeking more, just peace in enough.

Let's seek the little moments of joy, not the big, grandiose moments that are few and far between. The little moments that can come every morning in the silence; the little moments before we get inundated; and the enoughness at the end of a long day as our heads hit the pillow. 

• What is bringing you "lykke" today? 

• What is making you feel grateful and joyful? 

Let’s be tender with ourselves and others, embracing more contentment.

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Updates & Resources

Multnomah Athletic Foundation

As co-chair of the Multnomah Athletic Foundation and sponsor of MAF Week, I invite you to join us at the MAF Week Party on Thursday, March 12 at the Multnomah Athletic Club. We will raise funds and awareness to support youth participation in athletic and educational opportunities that promote discipline, leadership, and skill development. Register Here!

PBJ Women's Summit

This event brings together women for meaningful conversations about leadership, growth, and career direction. I encourage you to attend the Portland Business Journal’s Women’s Summit (the largest in the US) on Monday, February 23, from 2-5:30 at the Hilton Portland Downtown. My topic is: “Prioritize Your Health and Your Career.”

Year of the Horse: Sensitive Strength

While there are many qualities of the horse, sensitive strength embodies tenderness. Horses are powerful and independent; this year highlights their loyal, sensitive nature—the ability to carry heavy burdens while remaining refined.

Try a Little Tenderness song

Try a Little Tenderness by Otis Redding, performed in 1967 (the year I was born). Sadly, it was the night before he died at the age of 26 with his band in a plane crash.